If Only Curlin Had a Government Charter

On occasion, I like to dabble in the stock market, for me playing the market isn’t that much different than playing the ponies. It’s pretty simple, risk and reward, you try to interpret all this historical data until your brain hurts and then you put your money down. And while my Twin Spires account balance has followed the Dow into bear territory the last few weeks, on occassion a stock play has one advantage you can never get on a horse, a government guarantee.

It’s Friday morning; I am off from work and watching all the doom and gloom about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac on CNBC. While I don’t understand all the nuances of mortgage-backed securities, I do know that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have government charters and also have the implicit backing of the Federal government.

It seems the pitfalls of unfettered capitalism may be fine for those suckers who bought houses with no equity, assuming the market went nowhere but up. But with the financial system in a near meltdown, I was betting that George Bush would forget the basic tenets of capitalism and save the day at the taxpayers expense. Assured of that, I bought a couple of hundred shares of Fannie and Freddie (at the very bottom of the market, I might add). And as I suspected, Washington knowing that what’s good for Fannie and Freddie is good for the country, came to the rescue of the mismanaged giants.

The moral of the story, I doubled my money. If only Curlin had a government charter, betting the ponies would be so much more fun.

Ooh-la-la that Zarkava

So Curlin is no Secretariat, he seemed to lack his typical kick on the turf but it wasn’t a bad effort. It’s just that Curlin brings with him higher expectations, yesterday he reminded us, he is a horse.

I have been looking at Zarkava’s wins this season in France and she reminds me of another filly named Dahlia who won the Man O War in 1974. If Zarkava is half of the horse Dahlia was, Curlin might as well stay home. Check out this video on Dahlia’s back to back wins in the King George Stakes and then take a look at Zarkava and you will see what I mean.

Dahlia

Sacrebleu! Curlin At 10-1?

When I was in Paris for the Arc in 1998, a glass of orange juice on the Champs Elysees was $8, now I would guess it’s $20. Sure the dollar is a piece of crap these days but look at the value you can get on Curlin with the European bookies for the Arc, where’s my passport? Meanwhile over at Bodog, Curlin is 1/20 to lose the Arc and 8-1 to win it, hmmm 8-1 on Curlin I like those odds.

I am with Alan at LATG on Curlin today, if he’s gonna get beat, today is the day. Although I am not inclined inclined to Woo Hoo about it.

Zarkava 5-1
Soldier of Fortune 6-1
New Approach 7-1
Duke of Marmalade 8-1
Youmzain 9-1
Curlin 10-1

Not Having Testicles Is Not Always a Bad Thing

Try as you may this week you cannot escape the male testicle, whether it’s Jesse Jackson talking about cutting Obama’s or Ray Paulick’s assertion that Frank Angst and all of the males on the staff at the Thoroughbred Times have testicles no larger than marbles; Frick and Frack were everywhere this week.

Granted Jackson’s comment was crude but if you ask me, Jesse just might be on to something. Just look what castration did for Kelso, Forego and Cigar.

Maybe castrating our Presidential candidates is not that bad of an idea, a good gelding in the White House is probably just what this country needs.

What if Bush had been castrated, we might not be in Iraq and just imagine if Bill Clinton had been castrated, chances are Monica Lewinsky would still be making copies somewhere and the only stain on Clinton’s legacy would have been barbecue sauce instead of the one on Monica’s dress.

As for Frank Angst and the boys at the Thoroughbred Times, I don’t read the Times much anymore and I doubt much harm would be done if a few of them met the knife, maybe they’d spend more time coming up with their own material.

Speaking of cojones, now that Vinery has given Asmussen the pink slip, how long will it be before Jess Jackson grabs his firmly and sends Amussen packing?

Chances are Asmussen will wind up with a Texas Toast sized suspension for the “contamination” positive and innocent error or not, I find it ironic that this positive could rob Asmussen of the opportunity to train Curlin through the end of his career.

Even if Asmussen manages to wiggle out of a suspension, he will be nothing but a distraction for Jackson since the drug violations are all the French and American press will focus on. I’ll venture a guess that Asmussen will not be training Curlin when the colt sets a hoof down at Chantilly. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Andre Fabre or Aidan O’Brien as the trainer of record if Curlin runs in the Arc, au revoir Steve

He Always Ran On The Fourth of July

I always think of Forego on the Fourth of July weekend since I was always at Belmont for the holiday and since Forego ran every Fourth of July weekend from 1974 to 1978 in either the Brooklyn or Suburban handicaps.

Here’s a very short but rare piece of footage of Forego in retirement at the Kentucky Horse Park.

Is Daddy Farish Betting On Obama?

I’d be willing to bet two bucks that Will Farish, steady pillar of the status quo, former ambassador to Great Britan under George W Bush, and lifelong Republican won’t be voting for Barack Obama this fall.

Yet a visit to the Newsmeat Campaign Donor Search Engine reveals that daddy Farish and many others in racing’s monied elite, who you would think would normally be supporting the Republican candidate for President, are not supporting John McCain’s campaign financially.

In politics money is access and it isn’t unusual to see contributions to both parties from someone who hedges their bets for the sake of their business interests (Farish doesn’t seem to to do this) but it looks bad for McCain to see how many die-hard Kentucky Republicans haven’t contributed a penny so far. From the looks of it, Farish has conceded the election to Obama. Apparently Bill Jr doesn’t agree with dad on McCain as he dug deep into his wallet and ponied up a $1000 to send to McCain; I guess it was franks and beans for dinner at Jr’s house after that hefty donation.

Robert N. Clay of Three Chimneys, who managed to get unelected from the Breeders Cup board this week, supported both papa and baby Bush also seems to see the writing on the wall, surprisingly he sent $2300 to the Obama campaign last year.

Tracy Farmer is a Democrat who was toying with supporting Giuliani but is now strongly supporting Obama if his contributions are any indication.

B. Wayne Hughes who has more money than god, thanks to Public Storage is pretty tight with his political contributions.

Donald Dizney, who leans Republican but sent money to both Gore and Bush in 2000, obviously didn’t want to get caught backing the wrong horse, he’s been all Bush since then and like so many others, is not on the McCain bandwagon financially either.

Wanna get a bet down, check out the odds at Betfair.

The Chap Stick Conspiracy

Maggi Moss may be a pretty good barrister but if I was Steve Asmussen, I’d be having second thoughts about the defense that Moss intends to use to fight his latest positive down in Texas.

In an e-mail reply to the Lexington Herald Leader, Moss’ revealed one of her probable defense arguments; I call it the “Chap Stick Conspiracy Defense” and it makes the Twinkie defense look like a stroke of genius.

Moss will contend that the lidocaine in Timber Trick’s system was not of the injectable variety and could very well have come from something as innocuous as lip balm or hand cream.

What if a trainer or his assistant used lip balm, hand creme or any of the over 1000 substances in stores that has metobolites of lidocaine in them and then groomed a horse or gave it water and that metabolite got into the horses system.

This line of defense, besides revealing that dry hands and chapped lips appear to be epidemic in the Asmussen barn could force the trainer to admit to some things much more unsavory than cold sores and chaffing.

The defense poses a few interesting questions. How did the Chap Stick get into the filly’s system? How much Chap Stick do you have to ingest to come up with a positive test?

The possible scenarios to support this argument while few, are intriguing.

First we have to rule out that Timber Trick did not simply sneak out of her stall and gallop over to the local Walmart Pharmacy and buy the lidocaine laden waxy stick on her own. A check of the security camera footage from the local Walmart confirms one thing, Timber Trick was not spotted at the the Walmart.

Interestingly, the footage did show local TBA blogger and Lone Star habitué, the loquacious Sue of Post Parade in the check out line with six of those tubs of frozen Margarita mix (the kind where you add the Tequila and then stick the tub in the freezer). I would guess the ever popular Sue was hosting one of her many fun parties( I have never been invited to one but I hear they are fun), or at least I hope so, if you read her blog you know she likes her Margaritas. Next in line behind Sue was her good buddy and local Star Telegram columnist Gary West, he was seen buying a large jar of the new Berry flavored Metamucil, this explains a lot if you have been reading West Points lately.

Further proof in my opinion that Lone Star is a cesspool of intrigue.

Having ruled out a clandestine trip by Timber Trick, we can only assume the filly ingested the Chap Stick. But how? Chap Stick doesn’t come in carrot or peppermint flavors so I would propose that Asmussen force fed the poor filly stick after stick of the waxy stuff or even worse he used the lip to lip method. Disgusting.

Either way it appears Steve can buy those plane tickets to Cancun, he definitely has a forced vacation in his future if Moss proceeds with the Chap Stick Defense

The Joey Buttafuoco of Racing

I wish there was something more interesting to write about but try as I may I can;t get by the words of wisdom of Richard Dutrow. The Joey Buttafuoco of racing strikes again in this column in the Daily News.

Like Buttafuoco, Dutrow is a regular guy living in his imperfect world, making the same honest mistakes that are misconstrued, again and again.

Gary Contessa says he’s a moron but at the moment he’s making guys like Pletcher look pretty stupid. I doubt if Todd could have squeezed a Grade 1 win out of a horse like Frost Giant.

Granted he does exhibit some of the qualities associated with a moron, like the inability to learn from experience, but maybe the next positive will change all that.

And if Dutrow is a moron, what can we say about the KHRA?

Is a 15 day suspension a deterrent, how does a moron define deterrent? While Big Brown’s Beyers are probably higher than Dutrow’s IQ, a moron he is not, schmuck or fathead seem like a better fit.

Rare Sighting: NYRA Signal on Phonebet TV

The tote problems at Delaware Park and Phlly Park brought an unexpected benefit for this fan on Saturday, during the outage Phonebet was showing the signal from Belmont Park. Why I can’t see it under any other circumstance remains a mystery to me.

The Two Dollar Existentialist

I am a polytheist, if you need a winner, you make a two dollar offering to the god of chance and he/she will surely grant your wish. I have had some prayers answered now and then. I had also hoped there were racing gods with an ethos but after this season I suspect that the racing god with a conscious broke his leg and vanished, like so many others, behind that ubiquitous white screen.

I was naively hoping that racing can put its house in order but the news this week has put that idea out of my head. The racing gods unlike other deities apparently have little interest in ethos, either that or they hit a pick six and are distracted at the moment.

Like it or not, the government is now god and since there is no hope of heaven, a purgatory in Washington D.C. will have to do.

Racing needs to repent for its sins and it needs an ethos it doesn’t have, having embraced that unholy trinity of money, drugs and death for so long.

As a fan I want to hope that a derby winning trainers exhibits the best the sport has to offer and then there is Dutrow, all recovered from his congressional phobia, a middle-aged lump of a man/child who spouts his stupid excuses and thinks we should focus more on his accomplishments than his rap sheet, a rap sheet he attributes to his sloppy management style. Can he be that naive?. Asmussen on the other hand is not naive and not stupid enough to call a press conference to complain about bad press, no Asmussen has a brain and hired a good lawyer.

Jeremy Rose at least has the sense to pray for forgiveness after whacking that horse in the eye, accidental or not in my opinion whips are a vestige of cruelty. Flogging was outlawed for obvious reasons and now it is time to totally ban whips in the sport.

I try to make sense of it all but I fear the empty chatter about reform will go on, contrasted against the absurdity of reality. Meanwhile this two dollar bettor sits in his pew, hoping the racing gods will answer his pari-mutual prayers this afternoon and trying as hard as I can to find meaning in the nothingness of it all.

Kierkegaard Never Cashed a Ticket

Existentialism and horse racing, who da thunk it?

A wonderful video about Sham.