Paul Moran names his picks for the divisional honors on his blog today. And while we all know there won’t be too much suspense this year at the Eclipse Awards (there never really is, it’s a good excuse to take a nap in a tuxedo if you ask me) I thought I might bestow a few honors of my own.
I call them The Swifties and they honor those who really should have stayed in bed this year or who would have accomplished more by just sitting on their ass, doing nothing, I now present to you the winners of the first annual Swifties Awards.
The Snooty DRF Columnist Award: Stephen Crist
The Snake in the Grass Award: Patrick Biancone
The Heartless Bastard Award: T.J Simers
The DUI Award: Frank LaBoccetta Jr
The Silver Bracelets Award: Gallion and Cunningham
The My Career Is In The Toilet Award: Fernando Jara
The No Bang for the Buck Award: The Green Monkey
The Green Monkey Made A Monkey Out Of Me Award: Demi O’ Byrne
The Retired A Year Too Late Award (tie): Discreet Cat/Funny Cide
The Brinkmanship Award: NY Governor Spitzer and NY Senator Bruno
The Stockholders Favorite Award: MEC
The Best Racino Award: It Hasn’t Been Built Yet
The Disneyland On The Drawing Board Award: Sheik Mo’s Fantabulous Meydan
Honorable Mention: Kieran Fallon and Greta Kunzweiler
